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Number One Thing Parents Do to Push Their Teenagers’ Button

31 July 2012

Teenagers are awesome in so many ways because they are filled with energy that drives them daily in the decisions they make. Many teens are interested in making right choices but sometime the challenges of life weighs very heavily on them such as education, divorce, poor family relationships, and peer pressure.  There are times teenagers behave in certain manners which sometimes defile logic.

 However, the best approach to understanding the choices teenagers make is to develop an open and honest dialog as you build a relationship with them. In this blog, I am sharing comments from various teenagers I have worked with relative to helping the teens to understand the power within to make right choices. But first, they must understand those things that influence the decisions they make and how those decisions impact their lives.

During one of my anger management workshop, I asked the teenagers the following questions and they are written in accordance with each person ‘s response. I have changed the names for their privacy.

Question: What is the number one thing that pushes your button with your parents?

Sarah’s Response

  1. Telling me what to do
  2. Not allowing me to attend events
  3. Making me be by her side 27/7
  4. Yelling at me
  5. Making decision for me
  6. Not letting me learn from my mistakes
  7. Trying to protect and save me from things 

Brittney’s Responses

  1. They don’t let me do what I want when I want
  2. Always yelling at me
  3. Never trusting me
  4. Never let a fight go
  5. Keep egging me on for a worse attitude
  6. Always making me baby sit
  7. Saying I am too young for things

Tammy’s Responses

  1. When they make me do ever thing all the time
  2. Being mad when I get a C and my brother fails a class

Vera’s Responses

  1. When they don’t believe me
  2. When they blame me for something I didn’t do
  3. When I do something and don’t appreciate it
  4. When they focus on my little brothers more than me.
  5. When I do something good and they don’t believe I did it.

Henry’s responses

  1. When I am told to do something but they don’t ask
  2. When they tell me I don’t do something right or to the best of my ability

Frank’s Responses:

  1. How I get accused of things I didn’t do 
  2. How they don’t trust me as much as they should

It’s always interesting to see how teenagers are willing to open up to others but they are afraid of sharing their true feelings with their parents because parents don’t listen and understand how their teenager really feels about things.  Parents, I encourage you to take some time and have an honest and open dialog with your teenager. Please listen and respond with fantastic unconditional love. It’s not easy rearing a teenager but you do have the power to take constructive criticism from your teenager.  You also have the power to patiently teach your teenager the life skills they need to become a responsible adult. Please take time from your busy schedule and build a stronger relationship with your teenager. Your teenager might feel the same way as these teenagers do. They deserve your attention and they need you regardless of their behavior.


Author: Billy J .Strawter, Sr.

© 2012 EnviCare Consulting 2012                  ALL Rights Reserved



Facebook comments:


  • Julie said:

    My 16 year old son suddenly has told me and we have a very open relationship he can tell me anything without me judging him. MomI think I need some anti depressants. I said why what’s going on if says I been sad or always in a bad mood and my friends are noticing it too and I can’t explain or point out why I asked him to really think about what’s going on inIis life to get in touch with what he is feeling. In my life currently my spouse and I are newly anti unemployed. My son goes back and forth to hisecherry house and mind every other week and has for the last 6years. So my financial situation has changed but I try not to let. That effect him. We have also taken in two African American boys in the last year which have changed some of the dynamics in our household. I have talked to my son with a open heart about this and he says that doesn’t bother him. Sometimes he says the reason your broke is because of those boys but I try and not let the things that I have always done for him change.
    I have asked my son to try counseling and he refuses.he said he doesn’t want to talk he gets good grades and has had the same friends since pre school .
    They have even noticed a change in him.
    So do you think I should try the anti depressants.
    Does anyone have any advice.
    My son who always tells me most anything says I don’t know why.
    Please help.
    Thank you. Julie.

  • bstrawter (author) said:

    I am not a Psychologist but I have a big heart for families because of the challenges parents are facing with their children and themselves.
    If your son feels he needs antidepressants, there is something serious going on in his life. You need to find out when the changes manifested in order to understand what triggered the depression. You should talk to a guidance counsel at his school to verify if the teachers have noticed a change in your son’s behavior. Your son could also have a chemical imbalance. There seems to be a lot of issues going on in the household as you have described.
    I recognized that your son said he does not need a counselor because he is getting good grade. He can be depressed and still receive good grades but in this situation the depression is affecting his behavior. I strongly recommend that you be the parent and take your son to a good counselor that will be able to relate to your son and properly diagnose the issues your son is facing. They will be able to determine if your son needs to be on anti-depressants medication. Hopefully, they will figure out what’s driving the depression. You can’t allow your son to guide your decision. Please take the time to get help for your son before he solicits medication somewhere else. If you are involved in a church, locate a Christian counselor in your area. Please don’t wait because I feel you are greatly concerned about your son! I pray God will guide you in your decision and give you strength to deal with your situation.

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