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Why Children Don’t Tell Parents The Truth When in Trouble

11 August 2012

Why Children Don’t Tell Parents The Truth When in Trouble

 During a workshop, parents had a wonderful dialog as to why children don’t tell the truth when they are in trouble. It was amazing to know parents had some ideas to why their children held the truth from them. It’s was easy for parents to share their thoughts in small groups, but it’s not easy to share their feelings when interacting with their children.  Here are several parents’ perspectives as to “Why Children Don’t Tell Parents the Truth When They Are in Trouble?”

 Ms. Banker’s Reponses:

  • Afraid of being discipline
  • Parents won’t understand
  • Parents don’t listen
  • Parents start yelling and screaming
  • Don’t like punishment and grounding

 Mr. Cooperman’s Responses:

  • Believe they can resolve on their on
  • Fear and disappointment
  • Possible Punishment

 Mr. Hope’s Responses:

  • They are afraid of punishment
  • Know they have let you down
  • Think they can handle it without your help
  • Don’t want to hear you yell at them

 Ms. Rebecca’s Responses:

  • Some children are scared of the parent’s response
  • It hard for a child to trust their parents
  • Some children don’t have the communication skills

 Mr. McCain’s Reponses

  • They are afraid of losing their privileges such as phone, computer and television
  • They are afraid of being grounded

 Ms. Baker’s Responses

  • They don’t want to be punished
  • They don’t want to get into more trouble
  • They think they are getting away with it

 Ms. Parker’s Reponses

  • They don’t like what you will say
  • They are afraid of being discipline

 Mr. Vaughn’s Responses:

  • Afraid of consequences
  • No faith that parents will understand
  • Think it will blow over

 Each parents shared their perspectives to the questions asked of them.  There were duplicated responses which showed that parents are on the same level of understanding about children.  However, parents sometimes fail to recognize why their child don’t tell the truth because parents overreact to their negative behavior, and some parents usually respond before they apply listening skills. I encourage parents to consider applying the following fifteen (15) principles when your children are in trouble:

  1. Don’t over react when your children tell you he or she is in trouble
  2. Don’t over react if you hear the bad news from someone else instead of the child
  3. Ask your children to share his or her side of the story
  4. Listen intently to what your children are communicating
  5. Ask questions if you don’t understand
  6. Don’t interrupt when your children are speaking
  7. Repeat what you heard from the children to make sure you understood correctly
  8. Don’t give the children the impression you don’t trust them
  9. Avoid overreacting and don’t yell as your children share with you
  10. Apply discipline as required but don’t go over board
  11. Explain reasons for the disciplinary action
  12. Let the children know how you feel about not hearing the truth
  13. Show love and affirmation to your children
  14. Don’t attack your children character
  15. Avoid telling your children you are disappointed in them
  16. Communicate clearly to your children that you are disappointed in the negative behavior

 Write by Billy J. Strawter, Sr.

© 2012 EnviCare Consulting, Inc.                              All rights Reserved

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